Military spouses face unique barriers to employment, such as frequent moves and deployments, contributing to a 22 percent unemployment rate. The National Military Spouse Network (NMSN) has been spearheading a grassroots effort to bring forward legislation to help. The Military Spouse Hiring Act is the closest it has ever been to being passed, and you can help!

The Military Spouse Hiring Act is a set of two identical bills in the US House and Senate, known as HR2974/S3909, that would expand the Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC) to include military spouses. The WOTC is a federal tax credit available to employers who invest in American job seekers who have consistently faced barriers to employment.

Both bills have been introduced to Congress with bipartisan support. Representative Don Beyer [D-VA-8] and Senator Tim Kaine [D-VA] sponsored the bills, and there are more than 280 cosponsors in the House and 53 cosponsors in the Senate. As Congress enters what is known as the “lame duck” season, where new leaders have been elected but are not yet in office, work is still being done to try to push this legislation through Congress and onto the President’s desk by the end of the year.

Rep. Beyer and Sen. Kaine are exploring ways to pass the bills this year, either by putting them on the consent calendar or adding the WOTC change as an amendment to another bill that must pass this year, such as appropriations. Rep. Beyer said HR2974 is his number one priority, and he will do his best to get it over the finish line. If the bills do not pass, the process will start over with a new Congress, where there is no guarantee of the same support.

Military members make up a small percentage of the population and many members of Congress don’t understand the impact of military service on military families. We have an opportunity to use our military life stories to help Congress understand how their support of legislation like the Military Spouse Hiring Act will have an immediate positive impact.

Four easy things you can do today:

1. Call members of Congress to thank them for their co-sponsorship of the Military Spouse Hiring Act. Check to see co-sponsors here: HR2974/S3909.
2. Call the staff and offices of Rep. Beyer and Sen. Kaine to thank them for their leadership on this important issue.
3. Call the offices of the US senators and US representatives from your state to tell them how important these bills are and ask for their support to pass the bills before the end of the current legislative session. Tell them your personal story to help them understand the challenges military spouses face. In this time of great political division, it is especially important to remind political leaders that this issue is bipartisan.
4. Invite your representatives to come to your base so they can hear from military spouses directly about their experiences.

Your voice is so important to keep the grassroots momentum going! Four years ago, 24 military spouses visited congressional offices on Capitol Hill to share the challenges and offer suggestions about what legislators could do to help. Today, the Military Spouse Hiring Act, HR2974/S3909, is so close to being passed!

As NMSN’s president, Sue Hoppin, says: “If we ever hope to make significant and lasting change for military spouses on the issue of employment, we need to reinvigorate the same community effort that successfully turned the tide for veteran employment a decade ago.”

Additional Advocacy

Legislation is only part of NMSN’s advocacy. In The 2022 NMSN White Paper, they highlight the work they have done and continue to do. Their main focus has been gathering data. While there have been many military spouse programs implemented, the data to see if these metrics are working is not there.

For instance, this year the Department of Defense (DoD) announced that for the first time, all military spouses would be able to participate in its biennial Active Duty Spouse Survey. However, the questions were shortened, with only four multiple choice questions and one open ended question. While it is great that all military spouses were included, the lack of information and data collected will continue to limit progress without a baseline assessment.

Another area of advocacy that NMSN is focused on is military spouse under-employment. If spouses are unable to secure employment or forced to take a pay decrease at a new location due to a move, it exacerbates already-tough financial challenges faced by military families both during and after military service. Spouses face being stationed in locations where work options are unavailable, or the timing of a move negatively impacts their eligibility for 401(k)s or Individual Retirement Accounts.

According to Sue, “Unfortunately, too often announcements touting successful military spouse employment initiatives can also be unintentionally misleading. In many instances, those employment successes combine veteran and military spouse hiring initiatives and reflect a single point in time. Even if a spouse successfully gains employment at one assignment, they may find themselves in an entirely different labor market just 18 months later. A military spouse’s inability to retain employment through a PCS transition also means greater challenges qualifying for employment-related benefits like career development, advancement and vesting of employer contributions to retirement funds.”

NMSN’s recommendations:

1. The DoD should create a standard set of metrics to evaluate programs for their impact.
2. Congress should study the inability of military spouses to benefit from financial vesting programs due to military service.
3. The Domestic Employee Teleworking Overseas (DETO) program should be expanded to ensure that military spouses who secure employment with a federal department or agency are able to maintain their employment during assignments overseas.
4. An SBA Small Business Concern classification should be created specifically for military spouses.
5. Congress should consider authorizing the development of a military spouse experience map through the lens of employment.

NMSN will continue to advocate for all military spouses no matter what stage of their employment journey they are in. “While the NMSN may focus primarily on military spouse professionals, we know that NMSN’s work also supports the military spouse who needs a job just to make ends meet during a transition. NMSN promotes inclusive collaboration on military spouse employment by advocating for all military spouses no matter where they are in their employment journey,” Sue says.

To explore the challenges military spouses face and the lack of data for military spouse unemployment in more depth, read Sue’s letter. To learn more about NMSN, head to their website or connect with Sue. Watch for the new 2023 White Paper on January 25, 2023.

Photo: At a December 2022 roundtable, National Military Spouse Network President Sue Hoppin talked with Congressman Don Beyer and Professor Janet Breslin Smith about the Military Spouse Hiring Act. The discussion was presented by USAA, with Mike Kelly attending.

Amanda Huffman is a veteran, military spouse, podcaster (Women of the Military), and the author of A Girl’s Guide to Military Service.

The post Military Spouse Hiring Act: 4 Ways to Take Action Now! appeared first on Military Family Life.

“You can be respectful of boundaries and that [everyone] gets to have emotions and things they don’t want to share,” Rachel says. “But you can discuss the positive things you’ve written about with one another, and that can train your brain to look for more positive.”

Model Behavior

This can be an important exercise for parents to do with children, especially if the child may be reluctant to journal at first. According to Rachel, the best way to encourage children with an aversion to the activity is to model the behavior the parent would like to see.

“If a parent is doing it, kids will follow suit,” she says. “In any parenting situation, I advise parents to narrate their own thinking. Kids can’t learn from you if it’s just happening in your head.”

For example, a parent can say something like, “I’m struggling with this emotion. I’m going to sit down and journal about it. Do you want to sit with me?” By inviting their children to be a part of the process of journaling and expressing some thoughts out loud, parents can show children the benefits of journaling without telling them to do it.

Make a Judgement-Free Zone

It’s important for children to feel safe expressing (or not expressing) some of their emotions from their journal. But for them to feel safe, parents need to put the emphasis on the act of journaling—not the outcome of the journaling, says Rachel.

“Stop focusing on a child’s outcome. Focus on the improvement, effort, and process,” she says.

The more a child—or an adult, for that matter—journals, the more likely they may be to open up about those emotions, because they’ve had a chance to gain a bit of control over the way they are feeling.

“Processing through writing is very beneficial. We know the benefits of mindfulness and it’s the same thing,” Rachel says. “Get out of your head and write it down. One of the most important skills we can teach children is to recognize and analyze their own emotions.”

Build a Routine

Whether the routine is bedtime stories or Sunday pancakes, Rachel says the best way to incorporate journaling discussions is to build it into a routine.

“Whatever routines and rituals are already present, just build it in. Eventually it just becomes something you do,” she says. “You can be drawing versus writing. Anything that helps. Just build a daily or weekly habit.”

The time in-between family sessions can be just as important as the time in them, though. As children are learning to process their emotions, they need encouragement, space, and time, says Rachel.

Rachel’s journals for military families include Deployment Journal for Kids (2^nd edition), Deployment Journal for Spouses (3^rd edition), and Deployment Journal for Parents.

An author and educator focused on child development, Rachel Robertson combined her professional training and personal experience supporting herself and her two children through her husband’s military deployments to create a series of journals for families during deployment. All of her journals have been published by Elva Resa Publishing.

You may also be interested in reading:

Write It Out: Journals Help Kids Process Emotions (Military Family Life)
Journaling is a great way to help kids sort out the feelings they have about military life. The benefits of journaling are numerous. Rachel offers suggestions to help kids of any age get started with a journal, grouped by tips for kids in preschool, grade school, middle and high school.

Four Healthy Benefits of Journaling During Deployment (Military Family Life)
Self-care and self-expression are important for military spouses going through the stresses of deployment, and journaling during deployment provides both, says Rachel. She shares thoughts about four key benefits.

The post Journaling Together as a Family appeared first on Military Family Life.

That’s why Lizann, The Seasoned Spouse, advises couples to be proactive and set aside time for financial planning when they are together. Good planning includes a budget for the present, setting long-term goals for the future, and recognizing how military life may affect spending and saving needs.

“A budget is a snapshot of where you are right now, as well as a schedule for where you want to be next month, or even a year from now.”

— Lizann Lightfoot

“A budget is a snapshot of where you are right now, as well as a schedule for where you want to be next month, or even a year from now,” says Lizann. “Think of it like a puzzle to solve, or a treasure hunt where you find all the hidden drains on your bank account. You can redirect that money from the drain into savings that could reduce stress during a move or deployment.”

Moving Money

A budget should balance income, expenses, and set aside money for unexpected expenses or emergencies. For military families, it’s especially helpful to have savings to bolster the budget during a move.

“Military couples can get thrown off their budget by a PCS,” says Lizann. “There are a lot of out-of-pocket expenses associated with moving, so having some money set aside is helpful. Even if you do a military-funded move, you may still need to transport pets or a second vehicle. Big expenses can throw off your usual spending plan for months afterwards.”

Also, every move brings plenty of smaller expenses that add up. Some of those may be reimbursed, but still require money up front.

Deployed Dollars

Deployment can also disrupt a military family’s budget, even if the deployment results in additional pay rather than additional expenses.

“Deployments involve a lot of changes and stress, for both the service member and the spouse,” says Lizann. “Financial difficulties add to that stress, so it’s important to get on the same page before deployment begins.”

Decisions about how to handle pay increases are easier to make when a couple can speak face to face, she says. It reduces the chance for disagreements about spending when separation makes communication more difficult. Another part of planning for being apart during deployment is deciding who will pay bills and how to handle unexpected expenses or financial decisions that arise between departure and homecoming.

Similarly, it’s good to have a plan for how to handle any pay increase, whether from a promotion or a bonus.

Looking Ahead

Even for young couples, it’s not too early to plan for retirement, says Lizann, whether or not they plan to stay in the military. Military members are eligible for different types of retirement and savings plans depending on when they began their service and how long they serve. Couples should find out what plan or plans apply to their family and decide how much to set aside for retirement planning or for college savings.

Financial planning, says Lizann, is not a one-time event. It’s an ongoing conversation and requires regular check-ups together. New babies, deployments, career changes, and moves will all require adjustments.

So make a date, light the candles, and get out the spreadsheets. It may not sound romantic, but togetherness in financial planning is a relationship investment that will pay off—not only with money in the bank, but also with confidence in each other—for many years to come.

The post Make a Date for Togetherness in Financial Planning appeared first on Military Family Life.

“If we don’t show that this life is hard, that military marriage is hard, parenting is hard, we aren’t being honest,” says Corie. “Without vulnerability or honesty, we risk miscommunicating. So many people are putting out their highlight reels on social media. If we do that, people start to measure themselves by what we’re putting out. We’re always doing our best to say we don’t have all the answers, but we can humbly offer what we do know.”

The Weathers know about moves, about kids changing school, leaving friends behind, and they know about deployment. Corie’s book, Sacred Spaces, grew out of the couple’s separate experiences during deployment and Corie’s separate travels to deployment locations. The book offers wisdom for couples navigating deployment, from before departure to after homecoming. First and foremost, says Corie, her book tells the truth about the difficulties of each phase.

“You have to do that, to validate what people are experiencing before you can go on to offer them help or ways to heal,” she says. “If nobody else is going to say out loud what we’re all experiencing, I’m going to say it.”

The response, says Corie, has been overwhelmingly positive, with military spouses and couples recognizing their own emotions in Corie’s story and realizing they’re not alone. She says it’s rewarding to hear from readers that telling her story authentically has made a difference for them.

“That experience of writing Sacred Spaces—taking that risk—and the response I still get from so many people, makes it even easier to keep putting myself out there. We don’t have to be ashamed to say that deployment is as hard as it is.”

–Corie Weathers

“That experience of writing Sacred Spaces—taking that risk—and the response I still get from so many people, makes it even easier to keep putting myself out there,” says Corie. “We don’t have to be ashamed to say that deployment is as hard as it is. Sometimes we reason it away. We think maybe someone else has it harder, or we look around and it looks like other people are handling it better, but it’s hard for all of us. Let’s talk about that.”

And she does. Corie and Matt stepped up to lead a series of virtual deployment workshops for the USO called “You’re Leaving … Again?” The monthly series coincides with Matt’s latest deployment, beginning before his departure. In the videos, which debut live and are made available as recordings, Corie and Matt talk through getting ready for deployment, departure, spending holidays apart, continuing throughout his absence–offering guidance and support for others going through the same experience.

Taking Risks

Sharing the events of deployment in real time is not without pitfalls. When Matt’s departure was delayed, a workshop that was supposed to happen two weeks after his departure ended up falling on the day he left. It was an emotional day, says Corie, but indicative of the way deployment happens. Schedules get changed, and families roll with it, but they still feel the effects of all that is happening to them. Corie led the live workshop on her own, with a surprise call-in from Matt while he was traveling.

The mission of the USO series and other similar events and projects, Corie says, is to validate the experiences of other military couples. For her and Matt, offering their story helps them work through their own experiences, making them accountable to each other and to those they hope to encourage.

“It is a risk, but Matt and I know our boundaries. We talk to each other about what we are ready to share,” says Corie. “When so much of our emotion is still right under the surface, it’s not time to share that. If I’m going to be authentic, and if I’m going to take a risk, I’m only going to share what I’ve learned a lesson from and what I have perspective on that could be helpful to someone. Other things I’m still wrestling with may need to be in the queue for the future.”

Setting Boundaries

Corie also has boundaries to protect her family and her time with them. With so much of her professional life connected to people and relationships, Corie’s goal is to spend weekends focusing only on her own family relationships.

Her personal self-care includes running “to clear the cobwebs” and to get alone to recharge her introvert batteries. In the big picture, she takes a yearly break during the holidays from events and speaking engagements and puts her Lifegiver podcast on hiatus. None of this time away is perfect, and there will always be interruptions, says Corie, but intentionality matters. Slowing down and stepping away offers time to evaluate, personally, spiritually, and relationally as the new year begins.

“I ask myself hard questions: Do I want to keep doing this? Am I in a healthy place?” says Corie. “I give myself permission each year to re-evaluate everything. It helps me recognize the things I actually love and enjoy. If there’s something I’m really dragging through, and don’t know why, I give myself permission to let it go if I need to.”

Knowing Limitations

As it was for many families, the long months of the pandemic were tough for the Weathers family, and Corie says she recognized she was nearing burnout. In addition to the disruptions of school and schedules, the family moved, and Matt began a deployment just as the holidays were beginning.

“I really hit the ceiling as far as maxing out my own capability,” she says. “It was too much, between moving, deployment, COVID, trying to work, both my kids being in a new school, the emotional challenges, working on my marriage. I knew I had to stop and listen to myself.”

In this season, too, Corie is mining her own experiences for ways to encourage military spouses, reminding them that self-care is not indulgent or selfish but necessary. For deployment, for the pandemic, or any challenge of military life, Corie says spouses aren’t simply looking for advice, they’re looking for someone who understands their experiences.

“They need more than a few practical tips for coping,” she says. “Authentic storytelling from someone who has been there is far more powerful. I wrote Sacred Spaces with that mindset, and when people hear a story that resonates, they’re going to say, ‘Me too,’ and we’re all going to get a little bit better.”

More about Corie Weathers and her book Sacred Spaces:

• Honoring Sacred Spaces in Marriage: Books Make a Difference magazine
• Say it Out Loud: Spouse Calls in Stars and Stripes

The post Corie Weathers: Sacred Spaces and Authentic Stories appeared first on Military Family Life.

In military life, holiday traditions are like military families: portable and adaptable. Because they celebrate in many different circumstances and locations—sometimes even in mid-move—military families look for creative ways to make spirits bright and maintain traditions in transition. 

“We purposefully established traditions that travel well,” says Amy Bushatz, Army wife, executive editor at Military.com and a coauthor of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom and Strength in Military Life. “On Christmas Eve, we seek out a local light display and then have dinner at a greasy-spoon diner, a place virtually guaranteed to exist in every single town in America.” If they are not able to celebrate on the actual holiday, Amy said her family designates their own date to celebrate. 

Army wife Maria Reed is the host and creator of Moving With the Military, a home improvement and lifestyle series for military families. For Maria, the atmosphere of her home is important, especially at the holidays.

“My home is not just four walls. This is my life. My children are growing up here. This is where we find the love and joy of being a military family.”

— Maria Reed

Even if a holiday coincides with a move, and everything is still in boxes, Maria’s advice is still the same: Don’t hesitate. Decorate! “Put up the tree,” she says. “Get it up! If you don’t have your household goods, make ornaments with your kids. Use pine cones, glitter, make snowflakes from clothespins.”

Keeping old traditions in a new place sometimes takes initiative, and Navy wife and writer Alison Buckholtz is up to the challenge. Soon after a move, she helped create a celebration for her community as well as her family.   

“The first time I was too far from home to attend a family-led Passover seder, I wasn’t sure if I could put one together on my own, but I knew I had to try,” says Alison, author of Standing By: The Making of an American Military Family in a Time of War and coauthor of Stories Around the Table. Knowing other families also needed a place to go for the special meal, Alison and her husband opened their home to their new community.   

“It’s so important to our family to mark Jewish holidays wherever we are and to help others do the same,” she says. “During that Passover seder, our house was full of people who were just happy to spend the holiday together. It’s one of my happiest memories of that particular tour.”   

Many military families make it a practice to add new traditions to family celebrations or find new holidays to celebrate. Then, even when they’re doing something they’ve never done before, they’re practicing a family tradition: Weihnachtsmarkt in Europe, Tanabata in Japan, fiestas in Guam, or Mardi Gras in Louisiana.   

“I love to incorporate new traditions and foods into our holidays,” says Maria. “At Fort Stewart (Georgia) we learned about hummingbird cake. Now I make that cake for my family and share it with other military spouses.”   

Sharing is a tradition that’s welcome everywhere.

“Wherever we are, we bake goodies for our neighbors and those on duty at the gate,” says Air Force wife and Sarah Holtzmann, also a coauthor of Stories Around the Table. To show her children the importance of giving, Sarah enlists her children to help with delivering the treats in the neighborhood.

When living overseas far from family, any holiday becomes a reason to gather with military friends to celebrate. Maria suggests having a holiday potluck as a way to get acquainted with neighbors.   

For bringing the family together, even across the miles, a favorite holiday story is hard to beat, even over the phone or video link. “We listen to ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, as read by Grandma—by Facetime if we are not together,” says Sarah.   Feeling at home in a new place can be difficult at the holidays, but celebrations and traditions help create connections.   

“Find a love of home, where ever home is,” Maria says. “It doesn’t matter if it’s temporary. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Make it perfect for you with what you have now.” 

Sometimes it takes the simplest of things to make home just right. When Sarah’s new home didn’t have a fireplace for hanging stockings for Christmas, she got creative and made a wooden hanger where her kids could hang their stockings. “You could say I nailed it,” she quips—and the hanger can go with her family for the next move.   

Military families can make any holiday meaningful, even when celebrating their traditions in transition. All it takes is generosity, creativity, initiative—and maybe a hammer. 

The post Keeping Traditions in Transition: Making Spirits Bright. appeared first on Military Family Life.