“I don’t advise spouses to join a group to network if they’re just checking a box,” says Sue, an Air Force spouse. “That may sound counterintuitive from someone who runs a networking organization, but we need to change our mindset about what networking is. It should be organic, something that’s part of our everyday life, because every day is an opportunity to engage with people.” 

Some connections may be helpful in more ways than one, but relationships are likely to be stronger if they’re built on shared experience and genuine interest in others rather than self-interest. 

“I don’t want to see spouses falling into a serial-networking trap rather than developing real relationships.” Says Sue. “Those relationships are so important in military life.” 

Meaningful engagement can happen in the neighborhood, in a faith community, book club, or even at the commissary—anywhere people come together. This kind of networking is less about work and more about getting to know people. Joining a group for the purpose of career networking can’t replace having real relationships, where mutual helpfulness flourishes naturally. 

” … we need to change our mindset about what networking is. It should be organic, something that’s part of our everyday life, because every day is an opportunity to engage with people.”

–Sue Hoppin

“When you’re in the business of maintaining relationships, you don’t know how those relationships can benefit someone or what good things they will eventually accomplish,” she says. “Networking is a two-way street. It’s not all about what you can get from someone else. You also should think about what you can do for them.” 

Any relationship grows stronger when the participants look for ways to help one another, and networking can provide opportunities to pay it forward to other military spouses and friends. 

“Just because you and I have a relationship, and I may be in a position to help you, doesn’t necessarily mean you will be in a position to help me in return,” she says. “Our connection may or may not be helpful somewhere down the line, but that shouldn’t matter. I believe in putting good energy and good information out in the world. Something you can do might help someone else in ways you never expected.”

The best way to create networks and relationships, says Sue, is to focus on the person rather than what that person can do or who else they know.

“Put yourself out there and build authentic relationships,” she says, “that’s where the magic happens, not when we’re thinking of these relationships as purely transactional. Those least effective at networking are the ones keeping score. We can all help each other, and it’s those mutually beneficial relationships that help everything run.” 

Sue Hoppin wrote the essay “With a Little Help From My Friends” in Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life.

Connect with more expertise from Sue and other military spouses at the National Military Spouse Network website. Listen to Straight Talk with Sue every Monday at noon Eastern on the NMSN Facebook page, and check out the NMSN Instagram Live each Wednesday at 11:30 a.m. Eastern.

The post Meaningful Connections Create Strong Networks appeared first on Military Family Life.

Making people laugh comes easy for Lisa, a humor columnist and author of The Meat and Potatoes of Life: My True Lit Com, a funny memoir about motherhood and marriage. The pandemic has shifted the dynamics of the Molinari household, with both Lisa and her husband, Francis, now working from home, and their college-aged daughters also home after their campuses were closed.

“My best coping strategy has always been humor,” says Lisa, who has used humor to overcome insecurities since being voted Class Clown in high school. She adds, “It puts people at ease, and helps me deal with tension during stressful times, like deployments or global pandemics.”

Family foibles are magnified by enforced togetherness, and sometimes the only remedy is a dose of laughter.

Lisa says not taking herself too seriously has helped her handle serious events in her life. As a navy wife, she discovered humor writing as a way to get through her husband’s year-long deployment when their kids were young. After one of her essays was published in the Washington Post, Lisa was inspired to pursue a career as newspaper columnist. Now her weekly humor column appears in Stars and Stripes and dozens of newspapers across the country.

“It’s not always easy to find material,” she admits. “Some days I’m wracking my brain for ways to see how this is funny, but we manage to find a way to laugh anyway. People tell me that I have the best stories, but really, I don’t live an extraordinary life — I just know how to see the humor in everyday things. Carpools, chicken nuggets, clogged toilets, and mortgage payments might sound boring, but any situation has the raw material for a hilarious story if you look for it.”

That doesn’t mean her three kids always think she is funny—especially after weeks of quarantine togetherness—but her husband, Francis, is fond of a good joke and doesn’t mind when the laugh is on him. Still, Lisa says using humor to cope requires balance. She offers a few tips for laughing through challenges without laughing off what’s important:

Lift up, don’t put down. Make sure the humor doesn’t come at someone else’s expense. Busting chops may start in good fun, but when it goes too far, it hurts. It’s far too costly in the long run. Humor should bring you together, and an inside joke isn’t funny if you’re the one on the outside.

Lighten the mood. Especially a minor problem becomes magnified. Use humor to ease tensions and put things back into perspective.

Be sensitive. Isolation may cause more sensitivity and anxiety, so humor may not apply to everyone in every situation. Be sure your family knows you take their feelings and problems seriously.

Look beyond the one-liner. Humor isn’t only about making a joke. Good humor also means kindness and a light-hearted attitude.

Self-deprecatory humor puts others at ease. Better to laugh at yourself than make a joke at someone else’s expense.

Never ridicule and be careful with sarcasm or snark. These tear down rather than build up when directed at a person. Use humor to lift each other up. This is true no matter what is going on in the world.

“Our family sees humor as a virtue, and that’s just as true now as it ever was,” says Lisa. “Humor is such a significant part of our family life. It helps us cope now when we are all stuck together. If we can laugh at ourselves or the situation a little bit, we can lift each other up.”

Lisa Smith Molinari is also a coauthor of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life and has contributed to two editions of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Read more about Lisa’s work on her website The Meat and Potatoes of Life.

More good humor and good advice from Lisa Smith Molinari:

But Seriously: 5 Ways to Handle Family Life With Humor

The post Lisa Smith Molinari: Togetherness with a Dose of Laughter appeared first on Military Family Life.

Military parents have many skills for guiding their children through the uncertainty of deployments and frequent moves. As the COVID-19 pandemic brings even more uncertainty, military families are using those skills and developing new ones to help their children navigate uncertainty through school closures, social distancing, stay at home orders, and worldwide health concerns.

Rachel Robertson, author of Deployment Journal for Kids and an expert in early childhood development for Bright Horizons Family Solutions, says parents should be intentional in the ways they address their children’s needs in times of uncertainty.

“As parents we have to keep children emotionally as well as physically safe,” says Rachel. “They notice our anxiety, whether verbal or nonverbal. As long as their world is safe and predictable, and the people they love and care about are safe and predictable they usually feel pretty good. As adults the best gift we can give is the strength of our calm presence, simple reassurances that make the world feel safe and manageable.”

“As adults the best gift we can give is the strength of our calm presence, simple reassurances that make the world feel safe and manageable.”

–Rachel Robertson

Parents can also provide stability by building predictability into each day, creating routines and sticking with them. Circumstances will require adjustments, but when possible incorporate old and familiar habits into the new normal.

Comforting Routines

Army spouse Amy Bushatz, coauthor of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life and managing editor at Military.com, says maintaining consistency and routine is helpful to her two sons, who are in elementary school.

“We offer stability and consistency where we can (as we do) during moves or when their dad is gone,” Amy says. “We’ve created a daily schedule that we stick to … and we’re being really intentional about doing specific things, like getting dressed instead of spending the whole day in pajamas, spending time outside, turning off the TV or electronics, eating meals together, and going to bed on time. That’s stuff they know they can rely on every day.”

“We offer stability and consistency where we can. We’ve created a daily schedule that we stick to, and we’re being really intentional about doing specific things”

— Amy Bushatz

Stacy Allsbrook-Huisman, coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers, whose two children are in elementary and middle school, says a routine helps kids adjust to a new schedule that may include online school.

Amanda Trimillos, a teacher and mom and also a coauthor of Seasons of My Military Student: Practical Ideas for Parents and Teachers, agrees that a schedule is important, even if it’s not as strict as it would be if there were buses to catch or a bell schedule to meet.

“It’s okay to sleep in, but get up and get dressed every day,” she says, adding that free time and play time are essential. “Go outside every day. Play music and dance.”

Serious Play

The benefits of free time to play and be creative go beyond fresh air and exercise and should be part of every day, says Rachel. Creative play is one way kids process emotions and events.

“It is critical in times of trauma that kids still have time to play. It’s the way they process life and stress. If they’re not talking about their feelings, one way to find out about their feelings is to observe their play.”

Watching how kids play, what they paint, draw, or create gives parents a window into what they might be feeling, a guide to the questions that will draw out those emotions when a conversation is needed.

Asking Questions

When kids ask questions, it’s important discern the concerns that underlie their questions and to give honest answers appropriate to a child’s age and needs.

“Be appropriately honest,” says Rachel. “If your family is affected (by uncertain circumstances), let kids know what will happen, but reassure them that you will always love and care for them. If they ask a really tough question, ask them what they think before offering an answer. This will help you gauge what kind of answer they are looking for.”

A child may be asking for facts or seeking reassurance or both. Children always need the reassurance that their parents are with them and will take care of them. When talking to kids, let them direct the conversation, says Becky Harris, a nationally certified school psychologist and military spouse.

“Talk to them on a level they can understand and to the extent they are interested,” says Becky. “If you are talking about COVID-19 and they change the subject to Minecraft, then change the subject and talk about Minecraft.”

“If you are talking about COVID-19 and they change the subject to Minecraft, then change the subject and talk about Minecraft.”

–Becky Harris

If parents are concerned about changes in a child’s behavior, says Becky, they should look for patterns, changes that happen multiple times over a period days or weeks. This includes sleeping and eating patterns, their levels of activity and communication.

Thankful Thoughts

Another healthy habit is to choose gratitude, says Amanda.

“It’s easy to find something to panic about daily, but it is just as important to find something to be grateful about daily,” she says. “When our internet was down with four children trying to attend online classes and complete assignments, we decided to be grateful for family, sun, and teachers who showed grace in an unavoidable situation. We are teaching our children to show grace to others, and to ask for grace themselves. We remind them that school is about learning skills. Living life in a pandemic will also teach them life skills. We went on a family bike ride. We played games. We read together and laughed together. It’s an important life skill to recognize that food, drink, and family will sustain us.”

Important ways to help kids through uncertain times:

• Maintain consistency, both emotionally and physically with regular routines: Include good sleep, healthy foods, time for play, creativity, and physical activity. Spend time outside when possible.
• Answer serious questions with answers appropriate to a child’s age and underlying needs.
• Limit screen time and news intake for everyone: Children absorb information, even when they don’t seem to be listening to news broadcasts playing in the background. Turn off the news, and listen to music, or enjoy quiet time.
• Find ways kids can contribute at home and in the community. Chores at home, artwork, letters for friends, donate to a local charity helping people in need.
• Modeling good self-care is the best way parents can help kids develop healthy habits. Parents also need to tend their own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs to be strong for their children.
• Talk to a counselor. This applies to anyone in the family who would benefit from it.

Terri Barnes is a military spouse and author of Spouse Calls: Messages From a Military Life, based on her long-running column in Stars and Stripes. She is also the editor of several award-winning books from Elva Resa Publishing.

Additional resources:

Parenting Through Uncertainty from Bright Horizons podcast: Teach. Play. Love. (featuring Rachel Robertson)

Helping Children Cope with Changes Resulting from COVID-19 from the National Association of School Psychologists

The post Helping Children Navigate Uncertainty appeared first on Military Family Life.

Seeing her military family on the big screen brought home the power of her own story. Amy, her army husband, Luke, and their young sons, Dave, 10, and Huck, 7, are among several military families featured in the documentary, Sky Blossom—Growing Up a Caregiver. The Bushatz family joined a select audience at the film’s premier at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. The complete film is set to release in spring 2020.

“It was an emotional journey,” Amy says, of both the production process and seeing the film with an audience. The Bushatz family became part of the documentary when the film’s producer, news correspondent, Richard Lui, approached Amy for her expertise, knowing she had been reporting on veterans issues for more than a decade.

“I told him the topic was of particular interest to me, because it was personal,” Amy recalls. “My husband is a disabled veteran, and I wanted to be sure someone with a news background was covering the story.”

Hearing Amy’s firsthand perspective, Lui shifted his request for help with background to a request for her family to appear in front of the camera.

Amy’s husband, Luke is a member of the Alaska Army National Guard. He was deployed several times as an Army Ranger and has mild traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress. Amy says the stories of invisible injuries can be difficult to relate, and the idea of opening up her family’s story gave her pause.

“As a reporter I know what makes a really good story, someone who has a visible problem. Luke does not visibly have a problem.” Amy says. “But if someone is going to tell the veteran story, we’d better have the whole story, and that includes veterans like Luke who have problems that aren’t ready apparent. There are so many like him who have injuries you can’t see.”

“… if someone is going to tell the veteran story, we’d better have the whole story, and that includes veterans like Luke who have problems that aren’t ready apparent. There are so many like him who have injuries you can’t see.”

–Amy Bushatz

The filmmakers traveled to the Bushatz home in Palmer, Alaska, multiple times to interview the family and film them as they went about their daily routines. The crew came in the winter and the summer, spending several days each time. Amy says it was an interesting experience to wear a microphone all day and have someone follow the family around with a camera. The crew filmed the family doing things they would normally do but sometimes on an odd schedule, based on when the weather and the light were good for filming. In addition to the slice-of-life shots, the filming included sit-down interviews with family members, individually and together.

“Huck and Dave thought it was super cool to be in the movie,” says Amy. “They don’t know how not to be honest about stuff. It may not be what you want to hear, but it’s whatever is in their brains.”

For Amy, the interviews were the most difficult and emotional part.

“On camera (the filmmakers) asked me to read a letter Luke sent me from one of his deployments. It was an email he wrote after one of his soldiers died in his arms,” she says. “That is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I felt like I was opening up my soul and my husband’s soul to see the rawness of these things we experienced.”

Amy is careful when describing herself as a caregiver but says the role is a universal one.

“Caregiver is a fraught word. It comes with a lot of baggage, because if someone is a caregiver, then it sounds like someone must be broken,” Amy explains. “It’s hard to use that word, especially when you’re talking about care and support for a spouse whom you view as able-bodied and whole. The reality is anyone whole cares for someone is a caregiver, so we’re all caregivers in some way.”

Amy says Luke was open to telling his story for the film, knowing it could be an encouragement to other veterans and their families, even though it was difficult at times for him as well.

Opening Up

“When the rubber hit the road at the documentary screening, that was hard,” Amy says. “We both felt the vulnerability of giving something very personal to someone you don’t know, both the filmmakers and the audience. We were nervous about how it would make us look, how it would make us feel, and what people were going to think about it, but you can’t control that. That’s the risk of telling your story, but we both feel that’s an important thing to do.”

For all that uncertainty and many other reasons, difficult and painful experiences in military life are often not shared, but Amy believes sharing them has a greater purpose.

“If we let people see the rawness wouldn’t that give people a better understanding of the realities of service?” she says. “I think so. Anything we can do to build empathy with our friends and neighbors, whether civilian or military is important because it creates a human connection.”

In the end, Amy and Luke are satisfied the film told their story truthfully, accurately portraying their family and their experience. Amy says entrusting their story to someone else was an exercise in trust for her, a reminder of what it’s like to be on the other side of the news.

Giving Context

“People trust me as a reporter with their stories every day. This time, I was trusting someone else with my story, trusting that the story they’re going to deliver to the world is authentic,” she says.

Personal stories like those in Sky Blossom, add an important human context to the information presented to the public about the military service and military life, and ultimately that’s why the Bushatz family participated in the documentary.

“When I cover the news of military families there’s an information aspect, but there’s the other side of it which is to say, here’s how this military member is dealing with stuff,” says Amy. “What else could be more important than creating connection with other people? Storytelling is the way we do that, maybe the only way. My family is like so many others, and there’s value in stepping out and saying it’s not all great. It’s hard and messy, and then sometimes it’s awesome.”

The post Amy Bushatz: Telling the Whole Story On Screen and Off appeared first on Military Family Life.

“The world is complicated,” Lisa says, “Raising kids and keeping a marriage intact is about as easy as juggling wolverines. Handling the stresses and complication of family life with humor has always been my best coping strategy.”

She began laughing at life early on and was named “Class Clown” in middle school and again in high school. “Being funny was a way to fit in, to find friends, to entertain,” Lisa says. “Later it became way to ease tensions and get through tough chapters and the daily grind too.”

When Lisa became a mom and later had middle schoolers of her own, being able to take life with a dose of humor became even more important. Writing became another outlet for her, one that merged easily with her ability to find something funny in most situations.

Lisa says she was often  stressed by the details of her busy routine as a wife and mother of three. In her years of military life, that meant deployments and frequent moves. However, she says it was the minutiae of a hyperconnected world that threatened to overwhelm her.

“There’s so much to keep track of,” she says. “Coffee pods and car pools, gluten and global warming, social media and salad spinners. Humor always helped me keep perspective, to sort through the never-ending details and demands to find what really matters—and more importantly—what doesn’t.”

“Humor always helped me keep perspective, to sort through the never-ending details and demands to find what really matters—and more importantly—what doesn’t.”

   — Lisa Smith Molinari

By applying her sense of humor, Lisa says she was able to see that much of what bogged her down in life was inconsequential.

“Laughing at the trivial things in my daily life helps me face my fears and insecurities and focus on what’s most important to my family — like snuggling with the dog, the finer points of making popcorn, and never missing an episode of Survivor.”

Lisa began to pursue a career as newspaper columnist in 2010 after having an essay about marriage published in the Washington Post. Her weekly column The Meat and Potatoes of Life now appears in Stars and Stripes, reaching military communities all over the world. The column is also published in dozens of newspapers across the country. In 2018, Lisa won a first-place award for humor columns from the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.

That doesn’t mean her three kids always think she is funny, but her husband, Francis, is fond of a good joke and doesn’t mind when the laugh is on him. Still, Lisa says using humor to cope has limits. She offers this advice for laughing through challenges without laughing off what’s important:

Self-deprecatory humor is one of the best ways to put others at ease. Don’t take it too far, or it looks like fishing for compliments.

When communicating a valid complaint to a family member, approach with a bit of humor to soften the blow. My daughter once offered this well-strategized compliment to my husband with a surprised smile: “Daddy, your breath doesn’t stink today!”

Playful banter between family members can be a blast, but relentlessly busting each other’s chops can lead to hurt feelings. Pay attention to reactions, and don’t take a joke so far that it’s disrespectful.

Different people are comfortable with different kinds of humor. Know what’s appropriate for each family member. I might appreciate the risque joke my husband heard in the locker room, but if he tells it on  taco night in front of the kids, I’ll find it about as funny as a screen door on a submarine.

Be careful with sarcasm or snark.  It can come across as abrasive  when you should be shooting for playful. Remember, you love your family, so don’t put them down just for a laugh.

“Humor has been such a significant part of our family life,” says Lisa. “Our family sees it as a virtue, as laudable as courage, integrity and good character. Over the years, I’ve shown our children all the ways good humor can be a useful tool in dealing with grumpy people, mediocre grades, dust bunnies, and bad breath…. and when all else fails, impromptu dance parties in the kitchen make any day better.”

Lisa Smith Molinari is also a coauthor of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life and has contributed to two editions of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Read more about Lisa’s work on her website The Meat and Potatoes of Life.

The post But Seriously: 5 Ways to Handle Family Life with Humor appeared first on Military Family Life.

None of that prepared her for what happened when her husband, Brad, got an overseas assignment, arguably when she was at the top of her professional game.

“It was a major career hit for me,” Jacey says. “My phone fell silent. I went from 250 emails a day to a Talbots ad and an invitation to a coffee morning. None of the local companies were hiring people who did not speak fluent Norwegian. I felt like I lost myself.”

When Brad’s next assignment brought the couple back to the U.S. Jacey knew picking up where she left off in her stateside career was not an option. She’d have to do what military spouses often have to do: start again.

“I did not know what to do, so I planted a bunch of career seeds at once. Some grew, and some did not,” she says. “I started researching how other people handled significant life change and shared strategies online, and the Next Door Project was born.”

“The world gives you little hints about what you should be doing,” says Jacey. “You just have to pay attention.”

The Next Door Project is a platform for Jacey’s speaking, consulting, career coaching, and writing endeavors. True to her experience, her specialty is helping people in transition to look for, create, and recognize opportunities. Jacey offers these tips for managing career transitions:

Know your local environment.

“Get local contacts and local interests. People get jobs through contacts.”

Know what you have to offer.

“Identify what you have to sell in the marketplace.”

Know what the world needs.

“Identify what the market is willing to buy. That takes some experimenting,”

Know your priorities.

“Be honest about what you really want in your heart of hearts and soul of souls. I want to have lots of time to write, and I want live where Brad lives. I’m willing to sacrifice some career stability to get those two things.”

More training or education may be helpful, but it’s not the most important thing, Jacey says.

“One of the most common mistakes we military spouses make is to keep going back to school, hoping to make ourselves more marketable. Instead, we need to work on making ourselves more local. Unless a degree is required to get a license in your field, like law, teaching, or nursing, don’t get another degree.”

Even with goals in mind, the right training, and local contacts, career transitions are difficult. Maintaining personal balance and self-confidence is a challenge, as is determining what job will be the right fit.

Jacey says one of the hardest things she had to do in her latest transition is to redefine her expectations of what the right job would look like.

“I heard about a part-time job that would let me teach new veterans how to get jobs, but I was worried that it was not a logical step up for me. I’d be a red-shoe gal in a brown-shoe world,” she says. “Then I found out how much I had to learn about the topic, how it was an epic task for veterans, a group I care about most in the world.”

It was a challenge she couldn’t refuse. She took the job and says it’s one of the best she’s ever had. Still she admits finding the next door of opportunity is never easy, even with years of experience. For reassurance and stability, she goes back to what is most important to her.

“I’d love to tell you that I am a Mrs. Miniver, totally unruffled by the slings and arrows of military life,” Jacey says. “Really, I’m a squirrel, and I am totally ruffled and freaking out all the time about work. Brad is my rock. And, to be fair, Starbucks. The habit of writing every day at Starbucks keeps me productive, no matter what.”

Jacey Eckhart is a coauthor of Stories around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life, author of The Homefront Club, and the creator of the Next Door Project.

The post Knocking on Doors: Jacey Eckhart on Career Transitions appeared first on Military Family Life.

During her first five years of life, Kate had multiple surgeries, and spent many hours in therapy and doctor’s appointments. All the while, the family’s military life followed the usual course: deployments, moves, the birth of their son, Jackson. The Hiltons learned a lot—the hard way—and wanted to help others in similar situations.

“We learned where the gaps and weak spots are in our system for families with special needs,” Jeremy says. “These are broken things. If I don’t try to fix them, who’s going to?”

While the Hiltons were stationed in the Washington D.C. area, Jeremy added a new component to his mission: advocating for military children like Kate. He put his hard-won knowledge to work, testifying for multiple congressional committees and writing for major publications.

Jeremy was named Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year in 2012, the first male to receive the title, and used the platform as a megaphone to advocate for medical care and better support for military families with special needs.

He wrote about being an effective advocate as a coauthor of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life.

Though military moves have taken the family to a new home, Jeremy still keeps a finger on the pulse of Department of Defense policy issues affecting his daughter and other military kids.

As part of the Tricare for Kids Coalition, he continues to advocate for improvements and reform in military pediatric healthcare to better serve the needs of military families. Jeremy says changes are needed to close gaps in medical coverage for children with special needs and to improve accessibility to state programs for mobile military families. Often, those families are not in one place long enough to reach the top of state waiting lists for services.

“Practically every year since (the coalition’s) inception, we’ve had some luck getting legislation introduced to the National Defense Authorization Act,” says Jeremy. He maintains a legislative history of those changes, which he makes available to anyone, and says it’s important to build awareness and keep this topic in front of policy-makers and legislators.

Continuing Advocacy

Jeremy has returned to the civilian work force and also continues his work as an advocate. He offers his expertise individually, when someone reaches out to him for help, particularly military families impacted by disabilities, and he continues to push for policy and program changes.

One avenue for military families reach out to policy-makers, says Jeremy, is through the Military Family Readiness Council. The council, created by Congress, is a federal advisory committee whose sole purpose is to hear from military families, on any issue. The meetings and records of the council are open to the public. Military family members can submit information and attend the meetings, which are held at the Pentagon.

Jeremy created the DoD Military Family Readiness Council Information Page, an unofficial page to keep military families informed about the council meetings before and the issues they cover.

“I know and have worked with many of the council members over the years, all in unofficial capacities, sending them information when I think it will help,” says Jeremy.

Sources of Strength

Though Jeremy has seen improvements over the years, he’s also seen some government policies and pronouncements that look good, but don’t bring real change. He emphasizes there is still much the military should do—not just say—to support families with special needs.

“We are still five to ten years from getting this right,” he says. “An entire generation of military kids has grown up—literally since the start of the Afghanistan war to today—and things are marginally better.”

The road to creating change in a bureaucracy is a difficult one, but Jeremy says he finds strength in his family and his faith.

“When thinking about the roadblocks life puts in front of us, whatever the source,” he says, “I remember Philippians 4:6-7, ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’”

The post Jeremy Hilton: Advocating for Military Children appeared first on Military Family Life.

Eleven days after the birth of her second child in 2011, Jacqueline woke up to a phone call with life-changing news: Her husband, Michael, had been severely injured in an enemy attack in Afghanistan.

Through the years of Michael’s recovery and extensive treatment for his injuries, Jacqueline became her husband’s caregiver and strongest ally, ensuring he received the medical care and services he required.

“She has been my advocate,” says Michael. “She has changed military medical policy and brought attention to many things that are still lacking … My wife is someone who will not relent until she has affected that change.”

Jacqueline’s advocacy extends to her children as well. The Goodrich children, Lucy and Tag, have grown up around hospitals and wounded service members. The family lived for almost a year in a Fisher House while Michael was receiving care.

Jacqueline shared her children’s struggles and triumphs in a story titled “Strength of a Little Warrior” in Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life.

Knowing the challenges her children faced, Jacqueline created the General’s Kids, a nonprofit organization to offer financial assistance for wounded warrior families and provide care packages for children living in military hospitals while a parent recovers from service-connected injury or illness.

Jacqueline says organizations like the Fisher House Foundation, Operation Ward 57, and the Yellow Ribbon Fund supported her family at critical times. The Goodrich family was also provided a new home through Operation Finally Home, which builds houses for wounded veterans.

Caregivers are constantly fighting for those they love, says Jacqueline, and she is willing to be a fighter, an advocate for her family.

Jacqueline was chosen by the Elizabeth Dole Foundation to be a Dole Caregiver Fellow, to advise the foundation, its coalition partners, and government leaders on important issues for military caregivers. Telling her story, as an author and as an advocate, is an important part of what she does.

“Always be willing to share your story,” says Jacqueline. “Even if it’s painful, you could be the reason why some other service members get the help they need.”

The post Jacqueline Goodrich: Warrior as a Caregiver appeared first on Military Family Life.